Elvendork
by mrsmcclnt
Summary: For the longest time, Sirius Black was content with his friendship with James. But soon he came to realize that there was something more he was feeling as he watched his friend fall in love with someone else.


"What do you think of Elvendork

"What do you think of Elvendork?"

Sirius Black turned towards the voice coming from the wall next to him, "Elevn-what?"

"Elvendork."

Sirius looked at the wall again with his eyebrow arched.

"What in Helga is an El-ven-dork?" He emerged from the dressing room to look at his appearance in the mirror. He puffed out his chest slightly to make the winged emblem look a bit more broader than it was. With a devilish wink to himself, he smiled at his reflection.

"Elevendork is a name," said James Potter, who came up behind him wearing the same shirt. Both looked at their outfits then stared back into the mirror. Then they began to posture themselves to look better then the other, as if they were fighting for some imaginary camera's attention.

"A name for what? A dog? I thought your dad said you couldn't have anymore pets after what you did to the last one?" he said as he stepped in front of James.

James pushed his mate aside so that he could look at himself fully, "It's a name for a child – a unisex name; for a boy or girl. And I didn't do anything to Butch, remember? He just went on a little journey."

"By journey, you mean enchanting his stick to see how far he would fetch? It's been a month now, I don't think ole Butch is coming back." He gave a halfhearted laugh as he remembered how eager the dog was to play before James cast the spell. "And why are you thinking about kids names?"

"No reason," said James as he turned his back, nonchalantly, to his friend.

But Sirius knew better. He could hear the reason echoing in James' voice as Sirius saw the smile that James tried to hide. "Oh, for Merlin's sake," Sirius grumbled. "Did you get her pregnant?"

"WHAT? NO!"

"Well, didn't you sleep with her?"

"Well, er-" James looked around nervously as he tried to put a tie on with his shirt.

"Come off it, Prongs! Did you do the deed or not? Did you knock her up or what?" Sirius was very irritated as he pried him for an answer. He snatched off James' tie to get him to focus on his words.

"No, she's not."

He glared at James, wondering if he was being tricked into thinking that she's not when she really was. Ever since James and Lily had started dating, his time with his friend had dwindled to null. He was lucky to get this time with him and that was only because Lily had other plans.

Whenever he and James got to talking, it seemed like it was always "Lily this" or "Lily that." They hadn't been able to joke about the stuff that went on in school or their previous marauding pranks. No… their conversation seemed to be all about her once James got the girl.

Sirius was getting fed up.

"Then why are you throwing around kids names?" asked he as he watched James through the mirror.

"Just wanted your opinion, that's all." James said defensively. "Grief mate, learn to take a joke."

Sirius got equally defensive as he straightened his shirt. Why would he need to learn how to take a joke when he was the one who taught James how to be a misfit? "Well, unless you're planning on having hermaphrodites, I'd pass on the name." The small crack of laughter that he heard from James reassured him that he still had the knack for humor.

"Well, me and Lily were talking about..." and on and on and on it started. Sirius had been through this routine so many times that he automatically tuned out James upon hearing her name. His robotic subroutine kicked in as Sirius smiled and nodded to his friend as he continued to talk about Lily. But during the mist of James' ramblings, Sirius' inner little demon walked out onto his shoulder and whispered something devious for him to ask James.

"Wait, you haven't slept with her yet?"

James mouth paused in mid opening, "No, not-"

"So you're still-?"

"Am I supposed to be in a rush not to be?" James started to change color as he turned around and sifted through some other shirts.

"No, I guess not," Sirius said as he tried to lower the shock value in his voice. "But you do know... I mean... you remember what I-"

He could see James look more irritated at being reminded of this. "I'm not stupid, Sirius."

"Yet I'm not a virgin, James." Sirius couldn't help but to sound proud as he stated this. There were so few things in his life that Sirius could say he got the one up on over James. James pretty much had everything Sirius ever wanted: good grades, good friends, a good-looking girl, and a great family life at home. James was almost better than he was in certain things. Their earlier friendship had a bit of a competitor's edge to it, but it slowly died down to the camaraderie they have now. However, there were still some moments that Sirius couldn't help but to rub a few things in...especially when it came to James' virginity. "I thought that last date was suppose to be...well... _the_ night."

James still opted to flit through some more clothes instead of looking towards him. Sirius went back to the dressing room to try on some other things. "It was. But..."

"But what?"

"I don't know," Sirius heard James say lowly. "It just wasn't the right-"

"Well, you know what I say, _'You have to make the time right for i you.'_ If you wait around for her to dictate the moment, you may never get any of that sweet nookie. Women want someone to lead them. And further more, I-" Sirius stepped out of the dressing room, still wearing the same shirt since the others weren't to his liking. As he opened his mouth to continue his lecture, his finger raised high to stress his statement, he noticed that James was gone.

From the shop's window, he could see James running down the block, catching up to Lily. The rudeness of being hastily dumped by his friend left Sirius face screwed up and flushed. "Bloody hell," he muttered disbelievingly, as he watched them kiss in the middle of the street. He was never one to be ditched by anybody, let alone be upstaged by some girl. So Sirius calmly walked out of the shop and started up the path to the canoodling lovebirds.

He was sure he was going to give James a piece of his mind for leaving him the way he did. He wasn't sure what he would say to Lily, or even if he should say anything, but he did have a few choice words for James to hear.

He kept his breath even as he got closer to the pair. He put on his best smile to appear friendly and cordial instead of boiling mad like he really was. Sirius nodded to Lily and James as he stood next to them. "Hey, Sirius," Lily said as she kept her eyes on James. "You two make a cute pair." She playfully tugged at James' shirt to lure him back into a kiss. Sirius reluctantly watched the public display between them. But then he quickly cleared his throat when it got a bit too much to bear.

"Oh, right." James tired to straighten himself as he pulled away from Lily's lips. "Look, love, I'll catch you another time."

"Right. I'll see you soon…hopefully." Lily looked to Sirius and smiled. "Good night, Pads." Her smile was so sweet that it gave Sirius a toothache. But, yet again, he managed to keep up his appearance and bid her adieu.

"Sorry about that, mate."

Sirius had a heated expression on his face as he turned to face him, "For someone who hasn't gotten any, you sure as hell act whipped!"

"Hey!" Before James could go on, Sirius walked off in another direction. "Sirius!" But Sirius waved his hand, like he was brushing off an annoying little fly. "Why are you acting like a girl?"

Sirius spun around to look at him, "Oh please, don't start! If I were acting like a girl you wouldn't have dumped me back there to run off and be with someone else!"

"Yes, I would," James said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Considering how ugly a woman you are, I would dump you like a cheap date and run off with some other buxom babe." James paused to see if Sirius would laugh, but Sirius wasn't budging. "Oh, come on mate!"

"It's the principle, James. THE PRINCIPLE! You just don't go and run off, leaving your friends, to be with some chick that you haven't even slept with. It makes you look sprung!"

"I was only gone for a second! You make it sound like I left you to die!"

Sirius gave an exasperated sigh, "You still don't get it! Ever since you started snogging Lily you make it all about her!" James tired to protest but Sirius didn't give an inch as he railed into him. "You had a life before her! You had friends before her! But the way you go on about her feels like you would forsake our friendship just to be with her."

"So what, now, are you trying to make me choose between you and her?" James looked at Sirius questioningly as he tried to gauge his answer. But Sirius didn't have one. He had never gotten this far with what he wanted to say. Yet there were still so much more that he needed to let out.

"James, I-"

"STOP, THEIEVS!" James and Sirius looked in the opposite direction the man was yelling from. But they didn't see anyone running.

"Damn, he must have been really good to move so quickly!" James said in amazement. They looked back at the old fellow who was charging out of his shop, brandishing his wand in their direction.

"He's coming this way." Sirius said.

"I wonder why? I don't see the thief." But then Sirius slapped him on the chest. They were both still wearing the Phoenix shirts they were trying on at the store.

"Oh, shit!" They both ran as some spark came traveling up behind them. They dodged their way into an alley to take cover from the merchant. James looked a little panicked; Sirius kept his cool as he peered over a trash bin. "We should go back and explain. We're not thieves."

"I know, and I don't mind explaining, but he seems like the type who would talk to us through bars than to let us clear our names." Sirius signal James to move.

"But they wouldn't throw us in jail for shoplifting. They're only cheap shirts."

"I doubt that he would fire at us if these were that cheap." Sirius flashed him the price tag to show how expensive their new duds were.

James looked amazed as he glanced at the tag, "You're crazy! I've spent less gold on Goblin made watches than this itchy knockoff!" Sirius swatted at him to keep his voice down. Once he was certain they were clear, the two headed down the alley where the bike was. "What? We're going to run?"

Sirius nodded his head rapidly in agreement, "That's the plan."

"But we'll be fugitives! Thieves!"

"Not if we return them later. When we're clear, we'll Apparate them back to the store with a note explaining what happened. They can't ding us for stealing since we'll be returning them."

They heard the clatter of scattering cans down the alleyway. Not wasting time, they jumped on the bike and headed off. "I hope you're right about this."

After a high speed chase that left two Muggle officers scared and three flying wizards wounded, Sirius and James sat above a cliff overlooking the shore.

They were rolling in fits of laughter as they recalled the evening's events.

"Did you see it when -"

"But did see you see how he looked when you said-"

They both were so amused that they could barley finish their sentences, but the moment left them so in tune with each other that they didn't really need words to know what the other was thinking. As, Sirius finished laughing through his tears, he looked over to see James' satisfied grin. He took it in as he took a deep breath to quiet his hysterics. There was something about his smile that was so pleasing to Sirius.

"Look mate, I'm sorry about what happened back there-"

"What do you mean 'sorry'? I told you we'd return these shirts-"

"No, not about that…about Lily." At the mention of her name, Sirius to get off the bike. "Wait!"

"Damn, not this again! We had the time of our lives back there and you want to bring her! Can't we have a simple conversation without mentioning Lily Evan's name?" Sirius walked over to the edge, feeling ready to jump off. It was so maddening that he was feeling this way. He wanted to be happy for his friend but he didn't understand why he wasn't. It was he who advised James on how to capture his ladylove. He told him how best to woo her. But now that James got her, it left this dark impression on Sirius to know that James was with her and not him. James had spent so much time with her that Sirius missed their time they spent with each other. But there was something more to it than that, something he had a hard time facing.

He looked out over the vast ocean, fighting back the feeling that was struggling to reveal itself. He could hear James quickly approaching behind him. Then Sirius felt James grip on his arm as he turned him around.

"I'm trying to apologize!"

"Fine! You're sorry about the whole Lily thing. I get it." Sirius turned back around to look at the view. He could hear James kick the ground hard as he tried to explain.

"Look! I get it know! I understand what you meant!"

"I know; I remember what I said." Sirius could feel a cold trail trickling down his face. He shook his head in disbelief that he was reduced to this feeling. He didn't want to be like this. He didn't want their relationship to come to this.

"I know what you said, but that's not what I meant!" James said breathlessly.

Sirius looked confused, but he didn't show James. He kept looking forward with his back to him, not wanting him to see the tears on his face. "What could you possibly mean?"

Suddenly, as quickly as he said it, he felt himself being turned again as a brush of warmth caressed his lips. Something hard pressed against his face. He felt himself tense at first but then began to loosen as he realized that those were lips that he was feeling…James' lips.

James pulled back and looked Sirius longingly in the eyes, "I meant, I knew what you were going to say …before we got chased down." James leaned is head into his. His breath warmed over his upper lip as he leaned forward into him. Sirius wanted so badly to loose himself in the moment. He wanted to fall into James and relish the intensity his body gave, but there was something (someone) that was holding him back.

"What about Lily?" This time it was he who would bring her up. This time he would have to talk about her when he didn't want to, but needed to.

James still held his head close to him. Sirius could see his eyes close as if he were trying to sum up the honesty that was needed in the situation. He knew James was getting anxious when he could feel his breath quickening. "I don't know, Padfoot."

"I know you love her."

"I know, but…" James head leaned hard into his as he tried to explain. "That night when was I with her, as much as I planned it out to do it, it didn't feel right. I knew I couldn't go through with it unless…." he sighed. James looked back into Sirius eyes, knowing that Padfoot could finish his sentence.

"Unless you were honest with yourself…. like I needed to be honest with you."

"Right," he chuckled. James tried to move in for another kiss, but Sirius turned his head the other way to deflect his advances.

"You can't have it both ways. It can't be me _and_ Lily."

James moved to Sirius ear and whispered softly to him, "Even if I changed my name to Elvendork?"

A bit of anger stirred within Sirius as he tried to pull away, but James stood his ground and kept Sirius close. "This isn't a game," Sirius said bitterly.

"I'm sorry; I'm not trying to make it into one." He planted his head back in the same spot he was before. James tried to kiss Sirius again but still had his advances deflected. "Look, I know I have these feelings for Lily, but I also know that what I feel for you is something different. So before I can do anything else with anyone else, I need to figure this out with you."

Sirius felt taken aback by his words. "So what, I'm sort of gay experiment to you then?"

James fired back at him with the same intensity he gave in the alley, "You're more than that to me, Sirius. Much more then you're willing to say."

The waves that crashed over the rocks on the shoreline mimicked the wave of emotions that hit between the two of them. All this time they were feeling the same thing about each other but denied it for fear of losing their friendship.

James nipped at Sirius' mouth to get him to give in, but then he lost control and fully locked himself onto his friend. Sirius could feel his heart racing within his tight embrace. His mind swirled with all the feeling he had pent up James for so long.

He loved James, more than a friend should. Yet he didn't want to face it because he saw James falling for someone else. He didn't want to get hurt. But now, he had no choice to give in, for he knew this opportunity would never come again.

After a few long moments in each other arms, James pulled Sirius back onto the bike. He gave him one more kiss before Sirius kicked-started the engine. "I don't know where this is going, but I'm willing to ride it out as long as you are."

With that said, they rode out into the night.


End file.
